thinking.

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Thinking of the families who lost their babies.
Thinking of how incredibly scared they must have been.
I can’t even begin to imagine how that day must have been for them.

My heart is completely broken over this.
I have tried to make sense of it all a million times in my head, but I’m left with nothing.
This isn’t something that just happens – and is forgotten.
It can’t be.
I’ve been trying to get the address to the school.
So I could send condolence cards.
But I wouldn’t even know where to begin – what to write.

A man showed up at my door yesterday to deliver a package.
He was sobbing.
His face is still imprinted on my brain.
I can’t shake it.
He told me that his grandson was in the shooting.
He tried hard to get the words out –
To tell me that they didn’t know if his grandson was alive or dead.
That he had two more packages to deliver before he could go home –
and that he so desperately wanted to go home.
I just stood in my doorway and cried.
It probably didn’t help him out any – but I couldn’t help it.
My heart hurt so much for this man, for his family.
This tragedy has impacted so many.

I just had to write something here.
I had to acknowledge this in some way.
Because it happened.
I am going to pray for the families.
I am going to write cards.
And I am just going to keep praying.