So, tomorrow’s the big day.
The day where we take Wyatt into the hospital to get all of his hearing tests done.
If you need to be caught up – you can read about his speech delay here.

I woke up today feeling only 50% myself.
I felt anxious and scared.

I rolled out of bed and went to join William and Wyatt in the living room.
They had been up for awhile playing together.
I sat down on the couch and said good morning to Wyatt.
He was all smiles.
After I’d had some coffee we decided to get dressed and go out to lunch together.
(yes, lunch – I slept until 1)
So we ended up going to our favorite place – just the three of us to get some grub.
I needed to pull myself out of the funk I was in.

You know when you’re driving really fast on the expressway and you try you glance out the window for just a second only to see everything outside blurring together? That’s kind of how my mind has been lately. I’ve been “blurring” all of my thoughts.

Is this all my fault?
Maybe if I’d done things differently with him…
Worked with him in different ways…
Made him try to communicate more..

And what is everyone going to say tomorrow.
“If she’d only done ______ he would be fine.”
“Rookie mother mistake.”

I know I shouldn’t think these things. But I do. It’s been weighing really heavy on my heart. I guess I’m just scared – scared that we will go there tomorrow and they will tell us something is wrong. It’s never easy to hear that something may be wrong or different about your child.

So, I’ll just do the best I can.
Try and be as strong as I can, for him.
I’ll pack his bag full of the things he finds comfort in.
Like his taggie blanket, his favorite loveys, and his soft blanket.

On a side note. Thanks for all of the comments on my previous post. It means so much to me that you care enough to leave such encouraging and thoughtful comments. I feel as if when I’m writing – I am writing to friends. And it feels good to know that you care. I can feel your love – and I’m sending it right back to you.

Man, this is so hard.
Wish us luck!

You Might Also Like: