I absolutely hate this question.
And I get it all the time.
Places we frequent, people we know – they all end up asking at one point or another.
And each time it happens a little part of my heart breaks.
I just want to scream.
The truth is we’ve been trying for months.
And it’s just not happening.
I’ve shared bits and pieces of my Endometriosis journey here, here, and here.
I’ve talked about having surgery to remove it –
and I’ve talked about the fact that each day, it grows back more and more.
I guess this is just a topic that I’m sensitive about.
I am happy when others announce that they’re pregnant.
But it also hurts.
I know this is selfish.
I know I shouldn’t have negative emotions.
Because this only makes it worse.
I guess I’m just lucky to have a husband that stabilizes me.
A husband that rubs my back and tells me it’s going to work out when I’m sobbing into my pillow.
A husband who believes in our future – and believes that there will be another baby in it.
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Amen sistah! Remember talking about things before most awesome Wyatt came along? I understand it can be disheartening, but keep faith my lovely Kendall. All things happen for the glory of God.
You and William are in my heart and prayers!
Yes, I sure do. We are so blessed that it even happened once. Every single time I look at Wyatt I am reminded of that. Thank you so much for your support Ashley, xo.
I am sorry you have to deal with that. Some people can be so rude sometimes. It will happen for you, when the time it right!
Oh, it’s not their fault. I just need to be a little bit stronger – to be honest, I’m just in a vulnerable spot right now. I am so lucky to have your encouragement! Thank you so so much. xo.
oh girl I am so sorry you get this all the time ๐ We ‘tried’ for a year with our first, and while it was agony waiting, I’m really glad he came when he did instead of when I wanted him to.
I actually wrote something this week about people being nosy about family size and my thoughts on it… I hope it encourages you!!! <3
https://www.hopefulfuture.blogspot.com/2012/10/the-perfect-family.html
It was about a year with our son Wyatt as well. And so many couples wait much longer than that. I can’t even imagine their sorrow. I am going to go check out your post right this minute! Thank you so much for the encouragement and love! xo.
Keep faith. Everything happens when it’s meant to happen. I’m so sorry you’re confronted with the question all the time – I’ve never understood people needing to make things like that their business.
Will you keep in my thoughts! All the best to you and your beautiful family!
I am definitely trying. I have to keep reminding myself that everything will happen in it’s own time. Even if that means I have to wait a little longer, or if it doesn’t happen at all. xo.
I love that you have the heart and courage to post about this. It really helps when I know I’m not so alone. I haven’t been able to conceive since a miscarriage ten months ago. We still are parents to fur babies only. It sucks and I just want to be able to share all the love we have. Hang in there and love your Wyatt. He’s simply adorable. ๐
Katy, thank you so much! You have no idea how much your comment has meant. I try to be honest and transparent with this blog – I want you to feel comfortable enough to share your stories too! And I am so glad that you did. I am so sorry for the loss that you went through – I can’t even imagine how difficult that must have been. I understand your feelings of wanting to share your love with a little one – sounds like you have an amazing heart! Please keep me updated with your journey! You can email me anytime @ [email protected]! xo.
AMEN. You have NO idea why God isn’t answering your prayers right now, but it’s SO comforting to know that we’re not in control. Seriously. I know it doesn’t feel comforting right now (trust me, I’m there) BUT if we were planning out our lives, they would be a MUCH bigger mess. Enjoy every second with your sweet boy, and pray that God will expand your family when it’s time, in whichever way is best!! ๐
Christina, you are just so lovely. I guess I never gave him full control and therein lies my problem. I have to give it away completely – and then this burden will be lifted. I’ve downloaded a daily devotional to my phone that has helped me put things into perspective. It’s called “Jesus Calling” – corny name, I know. But I’m really enjoying it. Sending you lots of love! And thank you for always being there – your friendship is such a gift to me!
No matter the reasoning behind why there’s no #2 it’s a rude question. I’m hugging you via internet right now ๐
I’m hugging you right back girl! Thank you so much! xo.
The hardest thing in the world is to accept that we won’t always understand–or like!–God’s plan for us. I have struggled with this daily for the last three years, and I continue to struggle with it. Tonight I’m going to pray that you find peace with His plan, and that He shows you where He is leading you.
I internet love your faces, so much!
Ley,
Thank you so much for this comment. I completely agree, sometimes it is so difficult to understand exactly where he is leading us. I am going to pray for you tonight as well – you sweet thang, you. Seriously – you’re so incredibly sweet! Patrick Stewart would know what to do. xo.
I won’t lie, when I hear the Lord speak to me…it’s in Sir Patrick’s voice.
I don’t know you, I just found your page through a giveaway, but I have the following thoughts:
First, when someone asks you when you are going to have another baby, it’s really none of their business, even if they are close friends or family. I realize you may not want to, but I suggest you come up with a set response when anyone asks this. If it were me, I’d put them in their place with a smart-aleck response, but it’s up to you if you want to go sarcastic or sweet. But I think whatever you choose to say should end the conversation. I mean that once you’ve answered, that person shouldn’t feel compelled to ask you again. It’s not fair to you that people ask you a question that breaks your heart every time you hear it.
Don’t think for a minute that it’s selfish to want another baby. Whatever you feel at those moments is perfectly normal, and human. We all hope and wish for things. It’s what makes us strive for new things, gives us a purpose, something to work toward. Accept your feelings. You are not selfish.
Maybe not share so much detail about your struggle with infertility. If people don’t know you’re trying, they might not ask as often.
While it’s perfectly OK to want another baby, and even to try treatments in hopes that you’ll get pregnant, it may or may not be in the cards for you. Maybe you could look to other avenues. It’s often been said the quickest way to have another baby is to adopt.
Try not to worry so much. I’m not a religious person, but if you believe in God, try to relax and trust that if you are meant to have another, you will. And maybe you aren’t meant to have another. Maybe your life has a different road map. I mean, really, would it be the end of the world if you didn’t have another? Don’t stress about what you hope to happen, just enjoy Wyatt for every bit of wonder and love that it brings.
Relax.
Breathe.
Trust.
Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It means so much that you would go to such detail to reach out. You’re right – I just have to come up with a better response. Thanks again. ๐
Kendall you are such a strong women. I absolutely love you and your family!
I believe that you will be blessed with another little bundle down the road but maybe for the time being it just isn’t the right time.
I hate to know that you cry and feel hurt and broken over this because you are an amazing mommy to W and an amazing friend!
Stay strong honey and if you ever need to talk or vent I’m always here for you!
Love you lots!!! ♥
Katlyn – you are just a peach. You are always so sweet and supportive! Thank you so much! Sending love right back at you! xo
Oh, lovely lady, I know we’ve talked about this in the past. My heart goes out to you!
xo.
I hate this question… Since my toddler turned two yo, people keep asking me. The truth is that I can have another one. I struggled to have this one! I resigned to be a mother of 2,3 or more! I’m happy this way. I hate this question! I hope it’ll happen to you very soon. All my prayers for your tod has a little brother or sister
I’m a new follower from the GFC hop! Come and check out my blog, I’ll hope you follow me back!
https://ellecrafts.blogspot.com
Bisous
Yes! I am so happy that you said that! My girlfriend gets bugged constantly – and she is just happy with the one! That’s it for her! It’s different for everyone! Thank you so so much for your comment – heading over to follow you back right now!
Hello Kendall! I found you at the GFC Blog Hop ^^ I liked your blog a lot so I’m now following : )
Hope you get a chance to visit mine too and take a look xx
Well, I’m here to tell you it could be worse. I’m not married, not even engaged and don’t have kids yet. Since I’m almost 34, everytime we get together with family and even some friends, they’re all over me and my boyfriend asking when are we getting engaged or married or moving in. Some people think it’s just so simple to do these things and they’re not. I just learnt to ignore them because they started making me really sad. They don’t get that I want all those things but it takes too to tango, right? And a house and money for a party just don’t fall from the sky.
Don’t worry sweetie, it’ll happens when it happens, ok? Hang in there!
n o i r e d a m e
*two (LOL typed too fast!)
Hello there! I will definitely come over and follow you back ๐ Thank you so much for your comment! Ugh, I can’t imagine the pressure you must feel to get married etc – sometimes families can be very overbearing when it comes to that. Getting married is something you should definitely take your time in – who cares how long it takes – just as long as it’s right! You are so sweet – thank you so much for your comment! xo.
Oh friend, how frustrating! I hated that question when too after I had Ethan. Now that we have Olivia, and we are ‘done,’ I relish not having to answer that question. But truth be told, it’s no one’s business – really it’s the rudest question ever. I can’t believe the insensitivity of some people! I hope that it will happen for you very soon – everything happens in it’s own time for a reason, I truly believe that… hang in there dear friend!
I’m glad to hear that other people are getting the question (or have gotten it) too! I can’t wait to say ‘done’ ! Thank you so much for your support – sending love to girl! xo.
I hear you on that, I don’t have kids so people always ask when we will!
Hi! Found you though the GFC hop and love your blog! New Follower!!
Helene in Between
Hi Helene! Thank you so much for stopping by and following along! It’s great to have you here! ๐
My husband and I have tried for almost 3 years with no success. We just recently decided to quit trying. I’m almost to the point to where I’m OK if we don’t e er have kids but some days it tears me apart. I understand your struggle. With that being said, I’m following you be cause I found you through twitter, I’m so glad I did. My heart is full of hope for you.
Lyndsay @ theallmylove.blogspot.com
I hear you Kendall. Just had a miscarriage over here and half of my work day includes seeing pregnant women. Currently hating every minute of it.