It’s never a good feeling to have a doctor confirm your suspicion that something is wrong with your child. It doesn’t matter what it is – it’s just never a good feeling. About a month ago we took Wyatt in to discuss his speech and his doctor gave us a handful of things to do to try and bring the words out of him. So we made time each day to do those things, and he started to talk more – but only repeating the words that he already knew. The basics: momma, dada, puppa, ba-ba, and bubble.
We kept working with him – doing flash cards, letter games, books, etc. But still he only was saying the same words and not introducing any new ones in his vocabulary. So yesterday, one month after the first appointment, we took him in again. His doctor sat us down and simply asked if there had been any change. William and I looked at each other, then looked at Wyatt’s doctor, and said “no”.
We left with a list of numbers and a plan.
First, we are getting Wyatt’s hearing checked. Just to make sure there are no issues there. And to be honest, I really don’t think there are. He hears me when I speak to him, reacts to noises, etc. But he definitely could be hearing less than normal. So, we are going to take him to the hospital later this month for the test.
Next, after the hearing test is complete we are going to take him to have a speech evaluation. I talked to the woman who would be working with Wyatt yesterday and she assured me that it would be a simple process. She said it would only take an hour, and she would work with Wyatt and evaluate where he is at – and we could go from there. She said that boys are four times more likely than girls to have a speech delay. She thinks that Wyatt just might need a little help, a push if you will, to get him over the hill.
After we got all of this information yesterday I couldn’t help but feel like a bad mother. I felt like maybe I had been doing the wrong things all along – and I was the reason Wyatt could not talk. That there was something in the way that I was teaching him that wasn’t working.
But here’s the thing. Each child is different and learns differently. It might not be that I was doing the wrong things, I just didn’t know how to do the right things. If that makes any sense at all.
I am excited to get the testing over with, because I want to learn how I can better communicate with Wyatt. I want to learn how I can help him. And yesterday’s appointment was just the first step in this process.
I think the key thing is not to panic. I don’t have my own children, but I do work in education and specialise in Special Educational Needs. Youngsters do develop in different ways, and chances are his speech will catch up. Try not to get anxious about it though as your wee one may pick up on your anxiety and that could make things a little worse. I’m sure you haven’t been doing things wrong at all – and I’m sure you guys will get there eventually. Just wait til he learns to use the word “why?” and you’ll look back on this post and snort with laughter at your desire to make him talk more ๐
Sarah @ A Cat-Like Curiosity
Thank you Sarah – you’re totally right. ๐
oh Kendall I so wish I could be there with you through this!! This is EXACTLY what I do – I’m the person that gets sent in to work with families once they qualify for services (after that speech eval.) This is a GREAT thing – and it’s going to help. There’s awesome people out there who will work with you guys – and hopefully continually reassure you that YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING ‘WRONG’!! At all!! They’ll give you some ideas of what you can do that will help give him that “push” you were talking about – and don’t feel badly that you didn’t come up with those ideas – you’re not the one who spent years at school training for this ๐ It’s NOTHING on you!! You’re such an awesome mom to sweet Wyatt- and I can’t wait to hear about all of the progress he will make!!
ME TOO! It would be so great to have you here! I am excited to get started working with everyone so much! I just want to hear what Wyatt has to say SO badly!
My child went through this. (17 years ago) We had tubes put into her ears…and the infections went away, and she was hearing 100% better. She is graduating high school in 2 months.
My oldest daughter is a Speech Pathologist. She would assure you that it is going to be okay. Check his hearing…and keep working with him. Some children are just not ready to spill over with words to you.
Thank you so much Jules, you are so sweet!
It’s not you. It’s not you. It’s not you. : ) That is important enough to say three times. You are the ones who took him to get checked out, to make sure he gets all the resources and help he needs. That means you ARE a good parent. You saw a need, and addressed it so that he would benefit.
My nephew began speech therapy at age 2 1/2. At that time, he would only make very basic repetitive sounds. Now, at the age of 4, he will tell you that on his pizza he likes bwack owives, pepwoni, and wreen peppahs. (He is still getting help to work on his pronunciation of the letters R and L! – but they are improving too!) He had some kind of short term issue where the neurological connections just weren’t being made from brain to mouth. He knew exactly what you were asking/telling/describing and could follow complex commands, he just couldn’t verbalize much. Speech therapists and speech pathologists are trained to help kids work past that. Don’t get impatient, it won’t happen overnight, but there will be progress, and you can talk with the therapist/pathologist to find out what you can do at home to reinforce what he learns during therapy. You guys taking him to therapy is just like a parent taking a child to a pediatrician for an ear infection – there is an issue that needs to be addressed, and that will help. Now, having said all that, I think it is a great idea to have his hearing tested, because you are correct – even a mild hearing issue can affect/delay learning to speak.
Take a deep breath, and congratulate yourself on doing a great job with your little one!
Thank you Lynne! That is so nice of you to say! I am very excited to get the speech evaluation done and see exactly where Wyatt is – and how we can work with him better. I hope catching this early will be beneficial! Thank you!!
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I believe that all kids are different. My husband for example didn’t say anything until he was 3band the started using complete sentences. Maybe hes just listening and will surprise you big time one day. Good luck my darling. You are an amazing mother and it will all work out!
I’ve heard that happens a lot – thank you love! XO.
Julie from Back to the Basics (twitter name is @basicallyjulie – do you know her?) experienced this with her son. You two should connect! ๐
Also, you are NOT a bad mom! You are an AWESOME mom for recognizing that there might be a delay and pursuing help for him, if that’s what needs to happen. Big hugs, mama. You ROCK. <3
THANK YOU! I will check her out! Hugs back at ya! <3
I haven’t had to deal with speech issues in that sense, but I do have an 11 year old son with Autism. I read a great article the other day that was specific to Autism, but the main point was that it’s not your fault. As Mom’s it’s easy to feel guilt over our children. (Found you through Aunie Sauce and I can’t wait to read more!)
Oh, you are too sweet. I think it’s just in our nature as mothers. I am so happy you found me + and so glad to have you here!
Oh sweet friend you are a great mom! Once you get more answers with more options itll b great for your whole fam. My husband didnt talk till he was 3ish and for no reason that they found other than he wasnt ready till he was ready. Hang in there you all r doing great!!
XOXO. Thank you Kristine! Much love to you girl!
I had my daughter a month after I turned 17. When she was 2ish, her dad’s sister (Ash’s aunt), said that she wasn’t talking like she was supposed to. She suggested that she start Head Start. Maybe she was closer to 3. Ash talked at home a lot, but when she was around people she didn’t know, she didn’t talk at all. If people did the cute baby thing to her, she would bury her head into my shoulder and growl. Which actually is pretty funny to remember now. She didn’t have siblings or was around children a lot, so she just needed to develop social skills. By the time she entered kindergarten, she was much better and was talking and speaking like everyone else.
Kids do learn at different speeds and levels. And as everyone said, it has nothing to do with what you are doing. I think it’s awesome that you have noticed and are doing everything that you CAN do! I can’t wait to see what his hearing results are. ๐ At least he doesn’t growl into your shoulder when your friends get into his face and make baby noises at him ๐ She is now a beautiful, intelligent, 16 year old that volunteers at the animal rescue by our house for the past 5 years. Things have a way of working out.
LOL. That is so funny that you say that because Wyatt goes limp when he sees strangers! He just falls to the floor or into my arms. It’s pretty funny! He just started a toddler band class so I’m hoping more interaction with others his age will be of help too. Thank you for your comment! It made my day ๐
I’m your newest follower and understand 100% how you feel. My first girl started speaking at 6 months but my second wasn’t saying anything at 12 months. She had chronic ear infections and had tubes. Doctors said once the tubes were in she’d start talking…didn’t happen. At 16 months we were referred for Early Intervention where an OT, Speech Therapist and Evaluator all came out to observe and play with her. She physically and cognitively passed and was not accepted into the early intervention. My husband and I kept comparing her to our first since it’s all we knew.
Finally around her 2nd birthday when my oldest went back to school, my little quiet girl was no longer quiet! She’s almost 3 and hasn’t stopped talking since. Don’t worry. As long as he’s understanding everything you’re staying and taking direction- the speech will come. Watch out though, once the decide to talk there’s a lot in their brain they’re going to want to say ๐
Good luck.
Kimberly @ mypinterestreality.com
Hi Kimberly!
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! That is so funny that she was just ready to talk when your older child went to school! Maybe she was just waiting her turn. So cute. And, thank you! ๐
I messaged you yesterday as a new follower. As I mentioned, my 2.5 year old may need speech therapy and I was searching for help/answers/experiences. So glad my friend pointed me towards your blog. Reading about what you have and are going through, makes the process for me more bearable. Every thing you have written about (your concerns, feeling like you don’t know how to teach your son the right way) is all that I’ve been dealing with lately. I can relate.
You sound like such a good mom. The fact that you are doing everything you can to help your son shows that you are “supermom”!