The two medical conditions above, I have them. I talk about them here.
I don’t think it’s right to keep any of this a secret because there are SO many women out there whose lives are also being effected by one {or both} of these.
And because this is a part of my story.
I am in pain every. single. day.
I take pain killers every. single. day.
Sometimes it’s difficult for me to even get out of bed.
I wake up every night from the pain. And it’s only getting worse.
Remember a few months ago when I said I was going to have surgery?
Well, the reason for this surgery was my Endometriosis.
The doctor went in – and removed every bit of it that he could find.
Because this is supposed to help with the pain.
Because I was feeling like a terrible mother – feeling like I was neglecting my son.
Because I couldn’t pick him up most days.
Because I couldn’t get down on the floor and play.
Well, I had the surgery – went through the recovery.
And you know what?
The pain is already back – worse then before.
Naturally, I call my doctor to see what can be done.
He lists one drug – and mentions words like:
mood swings, hair loss, and many – many more.
And the first thing that I thought of was my son.
I don’t want to have mood swings around him.
I don’t want to be unstable.
I don’t want him to see me lose my hair.
He tells me that we’ve tried so many different medications –
we’ve tried the shots that have put my body into early menopause, the pills, the higher dosing of birth control, the hormones, the surgeries.
And then the doctor said something I expected but certainly wasn’t ready for.
Kendall, your friends, family, hubby, and son love you, and we want whats best for you. Whatever you decide to do, know that everyone knows you do your best for Wyatt and he would want whats best for you too! Sending love x Emily
Emily, You are so sweet. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave me a little message. Your words, your support, mean so much. xo.
Kendall you are in my prayers..Just lay everything out and see what is the best thing to do for you and your family. I have rhemotoid arthritis and right now I am in pain, I take 3 types of medicine, I get flare ups and sometimes feel like I am not there for my family. But with God’s help he gets me through it.. Again I am praying for you!
pamela, thank you so much. I am trying to lay everything out – examine the situation piece by piece and determine what is best. Thank you for your prayers – let’s be strong together. xo.
Kendall, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I had a better knowledge of what is going on in your life to be able to be there for you better, but if you EVER need to talk about anything please know that I am here for you and that I care about you! You are in my prayers! Hang in there my dear and stay strong!
Katlyn, thank you. You are so sweet. You have such a big heart – thank you for sending some love my way. xo.
oh wow I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all of this Kendall – I’ll keep you in my prayers ๐ Thanks for being so honest & transparent!
Christina, thank you so much girl. You have always shown me such kindness, it doesn’t go unnoticed. You are amazing my dear. xo.
oh Kendall, I’m so sorry. I will definitely pray for you. Thanks for sharing something so difficult to share.
Thank you so much Jenna – you are such a sweet gal. I’m very happy to have “met” you in blog land. I’ve been filling my days with Disney movies- because there is nothing cheerier than an ol’ Disney flick :). xo.
And then you look at other women around and wonder why they deserve to be so healthy and happy more than you. Life is so completely and utterly unfair. I share your pain, dear, and desperately hope that better options are revealed to you in the very near future.
I was going to ask how you were doing too – my e-mail is [email protected] if you ever want to chit-chat. xo.
I just found you through Our Reflection’s giveaway. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I too have endometriosis and the pain used to be so unbearable. I have had a hysteroscopy and 4 pregnancies that followed. All of that seemed to help with the endometriosis and the pain during my cycles is bearable now. I used to have to take off every 2nd day of work at least every month. I can’t imagine the decision you need to make. I hope you get some clear answers that will lead you confidently in your final decision. hugs.
Salena, thank you for taking the time to leave such sweet words. I love hearing success stories from others who have endo as well. It really helps me to stay positive. The pain is just so terrible. {but I don’t have to tell you that}. At first it was just during my cycles – but eventually it turned into being all the time. I’m on pain killers all day long. Ugh. Thank you so much for reaching out. It’s amazing to have someone who knows the pain. xo.
Oh the tears! My heart aches for you! Someone very close to me had this happen to her. She actually was never able to bear a child of her own. That was all she ever wanted in life. to have a baby. She and her husband ended up adopting 8 children total! I am the oldest of those children and I am so grateful to have that wonderful woman in my life!
Jessica – I am so incredibly lucky to have been able to have my son Wyatt. I keep telling myself that. Because it could be a lot worse. I would love to adopt someday {it’s always been in our plans}. Thank you so much for sharing part of your story with me. Your mother is an amazing woman! xo.
I can only imagine your heartache. I hope you have peace and guidance as you make tough decisions for you and your family. xoxo!
Allison, thank you so much. I appreciate your words so much. You have always been so sweet to me. xo.
My heart hurts for you! I can understand your pain. I had severe pain for almost 2 years the week before, during and after my cycle. I so understand! I finally found a Dr that would talk to me seriously about a hysterectomy. I was 32 at the time. I know that seems young, but I for sure was not having any more babies- husband had a vasectomy when our second daughter was born 8 years ago. I felt like it wouldn’t be a big deal – I was not going to be using my uterus anyway:) and I was able to keep my ovaries. I can tell you that without a doubt it was the best decision I had made for myself.
I hope you find some peace soon – I am remembering what that pain was like and wouldn’t want anyone to suffer like I did.
Jamie, I know – my doctor definitely did not want to do this at first. He made us go through every other option before even thinking of this. He keeps asking – are you sure? are you sure? But the pain is just so terrible. It takes over my life – day by day and I just can’t handle it anymore. Please stay in contact with me! I’d love to chat with you more. xo.
I am so sorry Kendall! I’m at a loss for words, but know that you are in my prayers. Wish I could give you a real hug in person, but know that I’m sending one with this lil’ comment.
Amy, you are such a good friend. I really appreciate all of the love and prayers that you send my way. We finally found a church. I’m very excited to start my own personal journey. Thank you so much for the push! xo.
Praying for you Kendall! When were you diagnosed with this? Pre-Wyatt? I’m so incredibly sorry…keep us all posted ๐
I got diagnosed a few years back – before wyatt. At that time they said I might not even be able to have any children. But, I was blessed with Wyatt. I will definitely keep you posted. Thank you so so much for being there, listening, and offering your support. It means so much. xo.