Endometriosis is a female health disorder that occurs when cells from the lining of the womb (uterus) grow in other areas of the body. This can lead to pain, irregular bleeding, and problems getting pregnant (infertility). source

Interstitial cystitis (IC) is a painful condition due to inflammation of the tissues of the bladder wall. The cause is unknown. –source

The two medical conditions above, I have them. I talk about them here.
I don’t think it’s right to keep any of this a secret because there are SO many women out there whose lives are also being effected by one {or both} of these.
And because this is a part of my story.

I am in pain every. single. day.
I take pain killers every. single. day.
Sometimes it’s difficult for me to even get out of bed.
I wake up every night from the pain. And it’s only getting worse.

Remember a few months ago when I said I was going to have surgery?
Well, the reason for this surgery was my Endometriosis.
The doctor went in – and removed every bit of it that he could find.

Because this is supposed to help with the pain.
Because I was feeling like a terrible mother – feeling like I was neglecting my son.
Because I couldn’t pick him up most days.
Because I couldn’t get down on the floor and play.

Well, I had the surgery – went through the recovery.
And you know what?
The pain is already back – worse then before.

Naturally, I call my doctor to see what can be done.
He lists one drug – and mentions words like:
mood swings, hair loss, and many – many more.

And the first thing that I thought of was my son.
I don’t want to have mood swings around him.
I don’t want to be unstable.
I don’t want him to see me lose my hair.

He tells me that we’ve tried so many different medications –
we’ve tried the shots that have put my body into early menopause, the pills, the higher dosing of birth control, the hormones, the surgeries.

And then the doctor said something I expected but certainly wasn’t ready for.

“Kendall, the only thing that will really stop your pain – the only thing there really is left to do – is a hysterectomy. We’ve tried everything else.”
i feel so broken.