Sometimes I wonder if I will ever give myself a break.
You see I am caught in this never-ending loop of hating my weight.
I’ll look in the mirror and then dress as quickly as possible, get sad, say something negative about my appearance to my husband, then make a drastic diet change that I secretly know I’ll never commit to.
William and I went to a wedding this weekend and as we were dropping Wyatt off with his grandfather – I asked he he minded snapping a few family pictures. This is what we got. And when I uploaded the images to my computer – I froze in shock.
My eyes scanned the photo from my husbands handsome face, to my adorable son, to…. me.
Is that me? Is that really what I look like?
It’s a similar feeling as hearing yourself on an answering machine – or through a recording.
I guess I just never imagined myself being so heavy.
According to JennyCraig.com I am 60lbs overweight, actually I’m “obese”.
Man, that was hard to type.
I really want to make a change.
I just feel like I’m not strong enough.
Every time I try and really do this I fail.
And I’m afraid to fail again.
I will finally be finished with college in March of 2013.
6 months.
It is my goal to loose some weight by then.
Right now I am 190lbs (YUP, just put that on the internet!)
Have you struggled with your weight?
I would love to hear your stories
(and share them if possible)
to encourage myself and others to get healthy.
If you would like to email me your story you can do so here:
I have been where you are. In college I gained a toooon of weight and I was so oblivious to it. Then one day, my husband (then boyfriend) told me I was fat. I know, sounds harsh, but it was just what I needed to hear! He wasn’t trying to be mean, he was trying to help me. So then it started. I worked out, I ate better, gave up drinking alcohol, etc. The weight came off. Then once I got to my goal weight, I saw my “fat” pictures. I couldn’t believe I ever allowed myself to get that way! Now, about 10 years later from that time and 2 kids later, I still have my insecurities about my body. Losing weight was more difficult after baby #2 than it was baby #1 and finding the time to work out seemed impossible. But this summer, when I was trying to fit into the previous summer’s clothes and they were too tight, I had had enough! So I started running and doing TurboFire and I became a Beach Body Coach to share my story and to help others. It’s been a great experience.
So, for you..I know how hard it must have been to put yourself out there and I really am impressed by that. Now for you it’s about taking that first step and be willing to commit. You can do it! If there is anything I could help you with, please let me know!
You’re absolutely right. I am here and I am admitting to myself that there is a problem. Now it’s up to me to make the first move. Thank you so much for your support! xo.
I am sorry. I know how you feel! I have been writing out my big journey in posts. I have part 1 and 2 now, I still have to write part 3 this week! We are doing a health and wellness challenge on the blog and FB right now about making small, sustainable changes to achieve better health. Week 1 was BREATHE, week 2 is Drink WATER. Both really easy, sustainable steps. You should join us!
This is the first part of my Journey. It links to the next. https://wp.me/p2pBvv-w8
This is this weeks wellness challenge. I hope you join us! https://wp.me/p2pBvv-xE
Good luck and dont hate on your self. This is just one more step in the journey. You can do it!
I definitely need to drink more water – a few weeks back I cut out my diet soda, but as I type this right now I have one next to me. I think that is going to be one of the first things I really commit to. That and daily exercise, even if it’s just taking Wyatt out for a walk.
I had the same realization from looking at a photograph about 5 or 6 years ago. I didn’t realize I had gained 40 pounds and it showed!
Upon realization, I was talking to a friend about it. She recommended Weight Watchers, which is what she did when she needed to lose weight. I considered it but didn’t start right away. I then talked to Jilly (Freytag) and she said she had also done it and was so happy with the results.
So I made the decision to do it. I never paid the money to join. Just used online resources, my friend’s advice, and an online weight watchers calculator.
Needless to say, I HIGHLY recommend Weight Watchers. So easy-peasy and it’s not a diet. It’s becoming aware and making lifestyle changes. It may have been a little easier because I was working a 9-5 job and had a regular schedule, but I still think you can do it at home! Just may take a little more discipline.
And as always, exercise ALWAYS helps!! I’ve never been a gym person, but I bought a Wii and a few exercise games for it (EA Active and Wii Fitness). That was my exercise regimen for years! I’d also include stuff like biking or walks when it was nice. Sometimes I do Jillian Michaels DVDs at home.
In the last 4 or 5 months I finally joined Planet Fitness (close and cheap). I started off great, going every weekday morning. I recently got out of my routine due to life circumstances, but just started going again last week.
Making exercise a daily routine does so much not only for your body but also your mind and spirit. ๐
Good luck my lovely Kendall. You must keep us updated on the steps you’re planning to take to shape up before graduation. Maybe blogging and keeping a “photo blog” of your progress will also be an encouragement to staying on track and making real progress?
Love.
Really? I’ve always thought you looked beautiful. I am definitely starting to exercise daily, even if it’s just walking (like today) with Wyatt in the stroller. Something is better than nothing. I was running at one point – but then I stopped. I’d like to pick that back up again, it was such a release. Thanks for showing the love! xo.
I’ve been there my friend! Thank you for being so transparent to us, your readers. I look forward to following your weight loss journey and encouraging you along the way…and maybe getting some inspiration for myself!!
No problem Jade! I’m happy to share – because it’s the truth! I have some pounds to lose. Keep me updated with your progress as well! We can hold each other accountable!
Believe it or not, my heaviest weight was actually not when I was pregnant. It was when I was about 13 years old… and quite a few inches shorter than I am now. Add the fact that my mom has always been a size zero and… yeah, I know how you feel. I’m still not where I want to be yet, but I’m working on it and closer than I’ve ever been. It’s taking me years. I know what I have to do to lose weight, but it’s really hard for me to maintain a balance between all or nothing. Eating healthy and eating too much. Sometimes I just feel so disappointed in myself because I know what to do, but I just don’t do it.
I still think you look beautiful though, Kendall.
Really? Wow. I think you are in perfect shape! Seriously, you seem to have lost all of your baby weight already! I have a problem balancing too – a big problem. How did you curb that?
Hey Girl, the pic is gorgeous. Don’t beat yourself up.
Thanks Jen, you’re always so sweet. I’m just excited to make some changes and feel better about myself. ๐
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve “started” several times now and the longest I’ve made it is 3 weeks. Either “something” comes up or I either start telling myself “tomorrow I will”. I know what I need to do and it’s been a little easier this time around.
I’ve started a routine of exercise (Wii Fitness and Jillian Michaels) and menu planning so there are no last minute pizza dinners because I’m out of something. I’m trying to cut back on pop too and that’s been the hardest.
I have the same feelings about failure and I’m hoping that doing it this time with the support of my husband will help. He has no problem with telling me to get going! Good luck!
Oh, I completely understand. The worst thing we can do is say “tomorrow”, I do that ALL the time. I have the Jillian Michaels shred dvd – and i’m telling you what – that thing will make you pass out. I did it for two days and then quit. Meal planning is huge, and I really don’t do it that often. I think if I came up with quick and easy meals – I wouldn’t get sucked into eating unhealthy food.
First of all babies will do that to you. I think we have all been there. Second, you are beautiful and your family is beautiful. Try not to be too hard on yourself.
Oh, I know. This kid ruined my body! Lol! Thank you so much for your kind words. xo.
You’re so pretty, my dear! Beautiful Mama, beautiful family!
Best!
Oh Carris, thank you so much. You are such a sweetie pie. Much love to you!
You look so beautiful! I love your hair in that last pic with the braid! Absolutely gorgeous.
Thanks Rach, I’m all about the braids lately. I’m lovin’ them! ๐ Love you!
I’ve struggled with my weight since I was in elementary school. Ironically being pregnant and gaining 45 pounds was the first time I was ok with my body. Now that I’ve had the baby and the weight hasn’t fallen off I’m getting a bit anxious…
It definitely takes time – I gained over 70 lbs with Wyatt, (I know – crrazy). When I was pregnant I thought it would be so easy to lose the weight afterwards. Turns out, it’s not. I guess we’ll just have to lose the lbs together! ๐
i am confident in you that anything you put your mind to will happen! sending happy and positive vibes your way, and don’t be so hard on yourself! you are a great momma and a beautiful woman!