I’m sitting alone on my couch.
Surrounded by darkness.
The keyboard is lit by the illuminating screen above it.
And I guess I’m feeling a bit down.
I know when you are faced with a difficult situation –
You’re supposed to do your best to find the good in it –
Well I’ve been searching.
And I’m left empty-handed.
Yesterday I went to the OBGYN.
Because the pain from my endometriosis has been terrible –
and because William and I have been trying to conceive with no luck.
The thought now is that my endo. has caused scaring in or around my tubes –
and that’s why we’re not pregnant.
Today I had to go back in for an ultrasound – to see if there was anything visible.
And there wasn’t.
So, I guess I’m thankful for that.
But – there still is one more test they need to preform, it’s called an HSG.
This test can tell us if my tubes are blocked.
If they have outside scaring – my doctor can help us.
If the tubes have scaring on their interior – we will need to see a specialist.
Either way – I will probably need to have surgery again.
To remove the endometriosis that has re-grown,
or to have scar tissue removed.
I know that this is an incredibly personal post to write.
I know that others are in situations way worse than my own.