Today after Wyatt’s speech class ended, we went to Target to pick up some food for Levi. We grabbed what we needed and headed for the register. Going to the register always makes me nervous. Usually the cashier will try to say hello to Wyatt and talk to him a little – which he loves. But Wyatt still isn’t talking a lot, and cannot say hello back. Most cashiers brush-off him not responding and chalk it up to him just being shy. But it’s those cashiers that give him stink eye when he doesn’t talk back that really get my goat. Like Wyatt is being rude for not responding.

In my head, Wyatt gets judged all the time. But, I am probably and most-likely am just overly sensitive when it comes to Wyatt. I always think people are staring at him when he’s making noise or acting out – and I get embarrassed. I remember we were at Target a few weeks ago and Wyatt threw a tantrum. Wyatt’s tantrums aren’t normal – they are super-tantrums. He can’t talk so he can’t vocalize how he is feeling. So, he screams – loudly. I threw everything on the shelf that was in the cart and stormed toward the front door to leave. William met me up there and reminded me that he was just crying, told me no one was looking, and gave me a moment to get it together.

I guess it’s because I never want Wyatt (or Levi) to feel out-of-place. I expect people to stare at Levi when we are out because you really can’t miss his special shoes and bar, and usually people are just curious about what they are. But when someone goes out of their way to roll their eyes at my TWO year old and give him the stink eye because he doesn’t say hi back… well, I just can’t handle it.

I was so angry today when it happened. I started to shake, my mind was racing, and I half-yelled out “HE CAN’T TALK!” I then snapped the receipt out of her hand and stormed out of the store pushing my boys in the cart. I know now that it wasn’t worth getting upset over, it wasn’t worth that wasted energy. I should have brushed it off and let the rude cashier be rude. I should have killed her with kindness. I should have been a better example for my boys.