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Endometriosis and Depression
The past few months have been difficult. I lost two grandparents, was having bouts of incredible pain due to my Endometriosis, and a dark cloud of depression set in as I’ve never experienced before. I’ve been meaning to hop on here and update you all, but as I mentioned above – it’s been a very difficult time.
Losing my grandmother has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to navigate through, and I know the holidays will be that much harder without her. I’m sure you know stress only makes the physical pain worse, so it’s been lots of days filled with ups and downs. Even prior to my grandparents passing away I could feel a pull deep inside my chest, I could see my feel my mood shift almost as if I was a train that had unexpectedly gone off the tracks and I had to pause and take the time to get myself back where I needed to be.
I tried writing out my feelings, I tried practicing self-care, but nothing I was doing was fixing the problem. Because at the deep root of it all – I was depressed. And as most people do, I pushed off seeking help even though in my heart I knew that was what I truly needed.
Until one day I was just flat-out exhausted from being so physically and emotionally sad. I picked up the phone, and I scheduled an appointment with a therapist. I found someone who could address my depression, anxiety, and all-around effects of daily pain in my life. So far, I’ve been to three appointments and plan on going once a week for the foreseeable future. Why? Because I already feel so much better, I’m learning tools that will help me to navigate my life in a healthier way both physically and emotionally. I’m finally on the proper medication to treat my anxiety and depression and it’s almost like I can feel the fog lifting.
There is something freeing about acknowledging that you need help, and untieing those restraints to open yourself up to new possibilities and healing.
I wanted to write about this, and I wanted to share this because I truly believe it’s important – especially with the stigma surrounding mental illnesses. I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY, and I am no longer ashamed of that. These used to be parts of myself that I shoved in the deepest darkest corners of my brain, way back where no one could ever find them. But now that I’m letting those feelings out and properly dealing with them, and I feel so much lighter.
If you have Endometriosis or any other chronic illness – heck, even if you just flat-out feel sad all of the time. It is OKAY to seek help, in fact, I highly recommend it. Fighting the hard fight of being chronically ill is an uphill feat, and the more people you have in your corner, the better.
You owe it to yourself and your family to feel your best – and sometimes just talking to someone who can help you to understand your emotions is important. Within 30 minutes of my first appointment I was told that I was an Empath, and after doing my own research I’ve concluded that I totally am! I’m taking the time to know myself better, know why I absorb the emotions around me and react the way I do, and it’s been an absolute pleasure.
I’ve settled into the notion that I truly love all of me, all of the broken pieces, too. My light may shine differently than yours, but it’s still shining. I hope that if you’re struggling you reach out as I did. I’m telling you, you won’t regret it.
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