I’m 27 years old – and scheduled to have a hysterectomy.
It’s weird to think that I won’t carry anymore children.
That I’ll never feel a kick inside of me again.
That I’ll never be able to show off a baby bump or say “we’re expecting!”
Next month I’ll be having a partial hysterectomy and my uterus as well as some scar tissue and Endometrosis will be removed. I’ve been struggling with Endometriosis for years now and have tried almost everything to be pain-free (medicines, surgery, etc). But it just never happened. I have had two previous surgeries to remove it – but it keeps coming back. It’s something I was diagnosed with before we had Wyatt (which made conceiving Wyatt & Levi extremely difficult).
Everyone always asks me what Endo pain feels like – and this is the best way I can describe it-
The pain feels like your worst period.
It feels like someone is squeezing your insides.
And sometimes it’s a sharp stabbing pain.
The pain came back again when Levi was 2 weeks old, and after talking with my doctor – we’ve decided that having a partial hysterectomy is the only way to keep me from being in pain. The surgery will help lessen the pain – but it won’t be gone entirely because of the location of where my Endometriosis has grown. The doctor will remove all that he can during surgery, and afterwards put me on a medicine to shut down my ovaries (that feed the endo). This will hopefully reduce my pain to a more reasonable amount and kill off any of the Endometriosis that he might have missed.
For the past few weeks I’ve been on pain killers to help manage the pain. And when it got up to 4 pills a day I knew I had to make the tough decision to schedule the surgery. I guess I always thought it would just clear up on it’s own – or one day I would magically wake up and feel great. But that never happened.
So the pregnancy I had with Levi will be the last that I will ever experience. And that’s okay – because he was a complete miracle. I have to keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have these two amazing boys. That some couples never have the ability to have children – and although we fought our own battle with infertility, we were able to overcome it.
My uterus and my ability to have more babies might be going out the window – but what I am left with is so much greater. An amazing family and a hopefully pain-free future.
You’re so strong, and such a good role model. As a fellow endo sufferer, I understand the pain and how hard this decision was. I’m sure it will help you feel better though, and I’ll pray for a quick recovery!
Nikki you are so sweet – to be honest, I don’t feel very strong at all. Thank you so much for your well wishes! I will definitely keep you updated! Hope your pain gets better too!
Kendall, you are one strong mama! Your outlook on everything really inspires me. I hope you have a speedy recovery and tons and tons of snuggles and hugs from your boys while you recover
Thank you so much for your love! I will be snuggling up the boys like crazy! 🙂
Bless your heart…I hope this improves your quality of life a ton and you can just enjoy your little ones! {{HUGS}}
Thanks, Mandy. It’s been a difficult decision but I know it’s the best one for us as a family! Hugs back! 🙂
You are so so strong. Just know that even though you can’t be a mother to any more children, that you already have a wonderful family that loves you and is so supportive of everything during this time.
You are so right – SO right. Thank you for your comment! xo
Kendall,
I too, had a hysterectomy when I was 27 years old. When I found out, we were trying for a third baby. I had a severely retroverted uterus and had had pain for years because of it. My children were 8 and 4 at the time and the news left me both relieved and despondent.
I had already undergone several procedures by different doctors to try and determine the cause of the pain and to try different treatments, the hysterectomy was the last resort. I trusted my doctor implicitly but still, I went for a second opinion for peace of mind. The second doctor confirmed the diagnosis but said that if relations caused me pain then it was my duty as a wife to ‘grin and bear it’.
I chose the surgery. It went very well and though I was told that I would be a guest of the hospital for 5 days, I was discharged after 3 because I was doing so well.
That surgery changed my life in many ways. Living without that pain month in and out was like being given a new life. I quickly realized that my family was complete and learned to appreciate my children more for the precious gift that they were to me.
I will pray that you find peace and that your surgery goes as well as mine did. Good luck and God Bless you!
Karen
Karen, thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope that like you I will be pain free. It will be a completely different life – and I can’t wait to see what that’s like. I’m just so used to being in pain – and mine is almost everyday – I probably won’t know what to do with myself when I wake up and feel nothing. Man, what an amazing gift that would be!
That is so hard Kendall. I am so sorry. That definitely doesn’t sound like an easy thing to go through. I had my first laparoscopy a little over a year ago and with a depo shot and physical therapy combined it has helped a lot but the pain is now starting to come back. I hope I don’t have to go through what you have. Sending lots of prayers and well wishes your way!