So, I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time.
But I guess I was afraid about what you’d think.
What you’d think of me.

I don’t really post pictures of myself that often on here,
and if I do they are usually from the neck up.

There’s a reason for that.

I am ashamed of the way that I look.
I am ashamed that I let myself get so out of control.

The past few weeks I’ve been making an effort to change.
I’ve been watching what I eat,
I’ve been trying to exercise every day,
and I’ve been getting outside more, and sitting on the couch less.

I’ve given up soda – which was probably the hardest thing I’ve done so far.
Because diet Pepsi and I, well we had a special connection.

I got tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what was looking back.
I got tired of letting food be my comfort – letting it be the thing that made me feel better.
I noticed my eating habits shift as soon as my pain got worse.

I feel like the pain took over.

and food became something that gave me happiness,
something that momentarily blocked out the depression I was feeling.

I’m going to tell you something.
Something that is extremely embarrassing.
But as long as I’m putting this out there.
As long as I am sharing this part of myself with you-
I’m going to share it all.

I am 195 lbs.
And according to my BMI, I am obese.
With my height (5’5) I should be in the range of 120-150. 
My goal is 150.
So that’s 45 lbs I’m going to have to lose. 
here we go. 
If you have any tips on weight loss – or would like to share your story – please comment below.