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February 1, 2016 · 8 Comments

The Endometriosis War

Endometriosis

endometriosis

For me it’s like a deep, heavy, pulsating pain that sits like a rock in my lower abdomen. If I’m having an unusually painful day, (I like to call these the “perfect storm“) it spreads to my lower back and tailbone. Everything I do hurts, even if I’m being completely still. On these days my friend is my trusty heating pad, turned on high. If you know someone who takes multiple baths per day, they probably have Endometriosis.

Endometriosis has taken so many things from my life. I am one of the lucky ones who was able to have children. I have two incredible boys, Wyatt (4) and Levi (2), and couldn’t be more thankful. On days where my pain has me doubled over in pain, I remind myself how lucky I am again, and focus on that positive, radiating love, and not the war that’s being fought inside. Even if it’s just a moment, the cannons stop firing as I’m distracted by the cute faces staring up at me.

When it started it was a few days a month, around the time of my period. The older I’ve gotten, the more it has occurred.

Eventually, the bad days began to outweigh the good days.

I’ve had several surgeries to remove it. Then the plan was to remove my uterus, and within months the pain was back. So we decided to go back in and remove my ovaries and tubes. When you have these removed at a young age, it means you’ll be thrown into early menopause, your hormones will be off balance, you’ll have to be placed on a regimen of supplemental hormones, and studies show this will shed years off your life. But for me, and for others – it’s worth it to have the chance of living a pain-free life, or a life with at least less pain.

But now, at just 4 months since my last surgery, the pain is back – in FULL force.

When I see pregnancy announcements, or anything related to pregnancy in general – my heart sinks. I would have loved to have more children with my husband, but, again – I am so insanely lucky to have had children at all.

One of the hardest things to explain to people is the need to just be still. The need for heat, hot baths, and sleep, I feel exhausted all of the time, no matter how much sleep I get. But, that’s all part of it – because this illness is exhausting, both emotionally and physically.

There is no cure for endometriosis, none. And every case is different. For the most part, people are generally understanding – until you get the jackasses who try and tell you the pain is in your head, or that it can’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be. There will be people who have had “friends that had it“, there are people who will claim to have had it themselves – who now are fine. 

Things you need to know about Endometriosis:

  • Not every case is the same. Some people have it and have very little pain. Others suffer daily.
  • It’s a chronic illness. There is no cure, all of the surgeries, medications, and therapies are just attempts to lessen the pain.

I was nervous to write more about this on the blog, because I really want to keep this as a positive place. But even through all of this I can find positivity. So, let’s end it on a good note.

I don’t know what my future looks like, but I know it’s filled with love. I know that I have a family that supports me, and is there to catch me each time I fall. I know that no matter what, I’m thankful to have the life that I do, to really appreciate the good days, good moments, and everything in between. I’m thankful I can work from home to support my family, and on the bad days it doesn’t matter if I’m in bed with my sweats and heating pad, as long as I have my computer. I’ve heard stories from countless people who are unable to work because they cannot leave the house, so for me – this is something that I can appreciate every day.

If you’re suffering from Endo, know you’re not alone. There are so many women out there, walking the same path you are – and there is support. If you’re looking for support, or need someone to reach out to on a hard day, you can find me here: [email protected]

XOX.

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Comments

  1. Barbara says

    February 3, 2016 at 9:37 AM

    My daughter is 28 and lives this everyday , we have been treated like hypochondriacs and drug seekers . She is depressed and anxious . If only 1 man got this , we would see it eradicated .

    Reply
  2. Katy says

    February 3, 2016 at 4:59 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story here! I actually have a doctors appointment in a week to ask about this. I also have gone through a miscarriage over this past Summer and have had severe issues ever since. I’m scared honestly because my husband and I don’t have any living children and eventually we do want one or two.

    Reply
  3. nanette says

    June 22, 2017 at 8:17 AM

    my daughter is 28 and also lives bravely with endo. she is a fighter..she is incredible…she is my best friend and I pray for her and LOVE her deeply. God gave me you….

    Reply
  4. nanette says

    June 22, 2017 at 8:19 AM

    my daughter is 28 and lives bravely and as fully as possible. she is my inspiration, my best friend and I LOVE her deeply. God gave me you….

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Endometriosis: 5 Things Only Women who have it Will Understand says:
    September 8, 2016 at 12:30 PM

    […] Endo Posts: The Endometriosis War, Surgery, The Journey to Baby Number Two, The Secret is Out, The […]

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  2. Why I shouldn't have gotten a Hysterectomy for my Endometriosis says:
    October 20, 2016 at 10:50 AM

    […] February of 2016 I had my Ovaries removed. After 3 months, the pain […]

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  3. How a $33 Dress from Target Changed My Life & Why Every Woman Needs a Power Outfit says:
    February 7, 2018 at 12:21 PM

    […] completely changed me. I spoke on a stage about the fact I had to get my uterus removed and ovaries removed, I talked about Wyatt’s Autism, Levi’s Clubfoot journey, I was open about my upcoming […]

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  4. I'll Never Be Able to Have Another Baby, and That HAS to be Okay says:
    March 14, 2018 at 12:00 AM

    […] was nearly 5 years ago that I had two surgeries – one to remove my uterus, and then another to remove my ovaries. That period of time is such a blur. I had just had Levi, and my husband, doctor, and myself had […]

    Reply

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Hello, there! I’m Kendall and welcome to my little space on the internet. I’m a wife, momma to two adorable boys +  6 fur babies. read more

 

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💕and just like that, I’m on the list for endo 💕and just like that, I’m on the list for endometriosis excision surgery 💕

🏥 I’ve never had a full excision surgery done before. My past surgeries they’ve either burned off the endo, or have done a 50/50 of burning & excising (cutting out) the endometriosis. 

💛 And to be 100% honest, excision surgery is gold standard for treatment of endometriosis, but like a lot of things in healthcare, it’s not covered by most insurance companies, and it’s really, really expensive.

The burning of endo was covered, and was my natural default for so long because we simply couldn’t swing the price tag of excision surgery. It’s also very hard to find a doctor that even does excision surgery, my new doc that will be preforming this surgery is very experienced and has helped a lot of women with endo (lots of women who have had multiple surgeries, too) regain pieces of their lives. 

This upcoming surgery they will be doing the whole she-bang, fully excising the endometriosis, they’ll be collecting and sending in tissue samples, and I’ll get a more comprehensive look at what’s going on.

So while I’m nervous, I’m also really excited. Maybe this surgery will offer more than 3 months of relief, maybe a year - how INCREDIBLE would that be?! 🤞🏼 

I’ll keep you guys posted as soon as I get the call - in the meantime can you send out some positive vibes & prayers for a successful surgery? I’d really appreciate it! 💕

#endometriosis #endometriosisawareness #spoonie #spoonielife #chronicillness #chronicpain
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✨ I take comfort in knowing that I hold the key ✨ I take comfort in knowing that I hold the key to my happiness, not my #Endometriosis.✨

🥊 And as much as it fights me, it’s ME that ultimately has the power to choose.

✉️ I can choose to be slipped into an envelope of darkness or break free like a bright firework exploding in the night sky.

💥 I’ll always fight to be the firework. 💥

💕 thank you @smilesandpearlss for capturing this moment of happiness.💕

🏷 You can instantly shop all of my looks by following me on the LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app. @liketoknow.it #liketkit #LTKcurves #LTKtravel http://liketk.it/39z9o
🌆➡️🌃 Which is more your vibe? Austin is 🌆➡️🌃 Which is more your vibe?

Austin is such a magical city! I had never been to Texas and even though the gals and I were just in Fri-Sun, I fell in love with all of the color & art!

Can’t wait to come back & visit another time - @clubwyndham thank you so much for hosting us, and for the incredible stay & incredible views! 😍

Sometimes I have to take a step back to soak it all in. I just never thought I’d have a life like this, with people like this. And my whole heart is just grateful.

If you’re reading this - I want you to know that you can have a big, beautiful life too. You can do the things you dream. All you have to do is believe and take that first step. I’m cheering you on! 💕

🏷 Follow me on the LIKEtoKNOW.it shopping app to get the product details for this look and others. @liketoknow.it #liketkit #LTKcurves #LTKtravel #LTKswim http://liketk.it/39tJ5
🐆 Cheetah Gals 🐆 ✨ After a long day of sh 🐆 Cheetah Gals 🐆

✨ After a long day of shooting content, we needed a dip in the pool at @clubwyndham. I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it’s been just to relax with the gals in this beautiful location. And I just love this shot of my girl @smilesandpearlss & I! ✨

And something super cool - Wyndham created a special discount code for us to share with you that can be used on ExtraHolidays.com for 20% off  available resorts! 

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@clubwyndham #clubwyndham #hosted #austintexas #austin #austintx
💕Ah, today was so cool! Taking over the @liketo 💕Ah, today was so cool! Taking over the @liketoknow.it IG was such an honor for us gals.

✨It feels so good to accomplish career goals with some of your very best friends by your side. I don’t know how I got so lucky but I’ll forever be grateful that @hellostefaninicole, @smilesandpearlss, & @anabeth.jpg came into my life.

💕 If you haven’t found your girl gang yet don’t worry - they’re out there! And you can always hang with us. 💕

I shared a few things that bring me joy on the LTK account but wanted to share them here, too. Drop me a comment if they make you smile! 

🐶 Puppy Breath
☁️ Big, fluffy, clouds
☕️ A good cup of coffee
😍 Any Kevin Costner movie (sorry, hubby)
🎶 Girl anthems 
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✨Monday Energy✨ Today my therapist and I were ✨Monday Energy✨

Today my therapist and I were talking about the power you have to see your glass as either half full or half empty.

I’m someone with anxiety, depression, and chronic illness - and balancing those while keeping a “half glass full” mentality can be hard. But it’s so necessary.

Here are some morning affirmations I plan on saying every day to keep a positive mindset, wanted to share them in case you want to try it, too!

✨I send love to every part of my body.

✨I am excited to wake up each morning to live this beautiful life I am creating.

✨Today i align myself with freedom, growth, and joy.

✨I give myself permission to go after what I want.

✨I am determined and will never give up.

(outfit pictured is part of my collaboration with @lanebryant that’s live on the blog right now) 💕
✨Saturday✨ today was a full rest day and I am ✨Saturday✨ today was a full rest day and I am so thankful for it! I soaked in the tub, did a face mask, and just relaxed with the fam. 

🍿 Tonight we’re making popcorn & having a movie night, starting with my fav 🧜🏻‍♀️ ✨& followed by King Kong (Wyatt’s pick). 🦍 

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🌙✨Hope you have a great night! 

#printfresh #robe #ltkcurves
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