It’s amazing how empowering an open laptop and a quiet space can be. I’ve been waiting to write this post, until things settled down a bit and got easier. But the truth is, it hasn’t. And I don’t think things will ever be “settled” for us. The writer in me never fully processes things until my fingers touch the keys on the computer and I’m able to drain my brain onto the screen. As weird as that sounds, it’s so therapeutic. I’ve been working on this post for awhile, but it was never something I could just push, I needed to take my time. So please note, this post will never be exactly how I want it to be. I am not an expert on Autism, I am just a regular mom, who’s son happens to have just been diagnosed with Autism.
A few weeks ago Wyatt was officially diagnosed with Autism. From the first sign of a problem, to his first speech evaluation to his MRI, to his speech therapy, the testing in between, to his first day at speech school, we’ve shared it all. And to be honest deep down in my heart, I always felt like there was something besides the speech delay and sensory processing issues, but a few months ago when he was evaluated for the second time, he finally got his diagnosis.
About the Evaluation
An Autism evaluation is stressful. It’s a three-part process that leaves you feeling drained emotionally. The first appointment is just for the parents, where they have you fill out a lot of paperwork, questionnaires, and basically interview you about your child’s behavior. It really was eye-opening to see the different questions and to be able to mentally piece together and try to figure out what it was they were looking for.
The second appointment is with both you and your child. They do a variety of play-based activities like seeing if your child can use toys appropriately, match shapes, and more. Wyatt did not mind this part of the evaluation because he was able to meet a few new people and most importantly, play! He was NOT happy when the bubbles were put away at the end of the appointment, but other than that – he did really great.
The third appointment is just the parents, to receive the diagnosis. They take the paperwork you filled out, the answers you gave during the interview, and the play-based results and compile them together, score them, and present you with charts and graphs that will tell you how advanced or delayed your child is.
The Results
For us the results were not surprising, although we did find out that in things like math and numbers in general, Wyatt was scoring very high, at a 6-7 year old level when he was only 5. We knew he had delays in speech (which he’s been getting help for since he was 18 months old), and we knew he had sensory issues. But having all of that information right in front of you in graph form is completely overwhelming. I held my husbands hand as they got to reviewing the last page with us, and the word Autism came out.
And hey, it really wasn’t a total shock to us. We knew he was “on the spectrum” and getting the official diagnosis of Autism would allow for us to get the care he needed covered, which is difficult to do if you do not have an official diagnosis. I left that last appointment feeling overwhelmed and empty. I can’t really describe it – because I’ve never felt anything like it before. For that day, I felt hollow inside, and I barely spoke.
The Plan
As soon as we got our diagnosis we were told Wyatt would benefit from ABA therapy and speech therapy outside of school. We also needed to call and make appointments for a neurological evaluation and a speech evaluation. Wyatt just completed the neurological evaluation on Monday and the doctor assured us there was nothing concerning going on which was just a huge relief for us. Next is the speech evaluation.
One thing about this process, and about these appointments in general – is that they take FOREVER. It has been months since this whole process started for us, and the days really seemed to just drag slowly by while we waited for each appointment. So the fact that we are finally to this point, one more appointment to go before we can officially submit the paperwork to our insurance for therapy coverage is huge. Because, let me tell you – paying out of pocket for what your child desperately needs is not cheap. And the fact that now, after all of this time – we will finally get some assistance from insurance will be a huge help.
So there you go. Wyatt is Autistic. He is a perfectly sweet, tender, and loving little boy who just happens to have Autism. His diagnosis will never change how special and amazing he is, because it’s what makes him so special and amazing – and I knew that would always be the case. It is a complete honor and privilege to be his mother. I’ve learned so much from him, and I continue to learn from him each day. I know that his future will be a little harder, and that some things may not come easy to him. But, that’s okay. Because I’m here, and we’ll navigate this together, as a family.
Side note, I’d like to thank you for reading, for letting me get this out, and for all of your support during this whole process. It has not been easy, but your love and encouragement has meant the world to my family. So, thank you.
Wyatt is a child who happens to have Autism. I think that this is such an important thing to remember. Don’t ever let the word ‘Autism’ or ‘Autistic’ be the sole descriptor of Wyatt. He is such a happy, loving, smart and spirited boy that has come such a long way already! And he has a wonderful family to help guide him in his future. Thank you for sharing your story.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD recently and the one thing I learned was that a good action plan is the most important thing.
I have a few close relatives that have autism. The one thing I know is that having a good plan in place can make a big difference. It’s amazing how much therapy can help!
This sound so familiar for me as I went down this path. My daughter diagnosed with autism too and as a mother, I knew there was something there besides the sensory issues and speech delay. I’ve also heard usually its boys not too many girls. In NYC, she went through early intervention, and once a child turns three yr old, they can be placed in a school. My daughter will be finishing her school this Friday. It is bittersweet as the staff at Stepping Stone Day School has been amazing. A child that walked in only speaking 2 to 3-word sentences till now (she will not stop). It brings tears and joy to my eyes. She is moving on to a Horizon program they have in NYC for Kindergarten. You are doing a great job.
Reading your post took me right back to our process of dealing with my son’s Autism diagnosis. My son has Non-Verbal Autism. He started on track and started to regress around 18 months. It heart wrenching to look at old video seeing him talking and knowing he may never say another word in his life. To know his brain is filled with amazing things that I may never know breaks my heart. Our lives changed forever and your right the dust never settled for us we just learned to navigate the cloudy haze. Sendi g you a virtual hug because I know you probably need one and thank you for sharing your story.
I’m so proud of you, and how y’all have navigated this as a family. What a lucky little boy, he has the BEST support system!
There are so many advances out there for parents of children on the spectrum, and I have noticed that you are not alone in this. I don’t have any children myself, but continue to read about others in your same scenario. Good luck with working with autism and may you find all the resources available to tap into!
Getting a diagnosis can be so helpful. Both of my kids have ADHD and my son has some visual processing disorders. Knowing that they have them helped us figure out what the best course of action is.
He looks like such a happy, sweet boy! I’m glad that he has such a supportive family and that you guys can do it together!
My niece has autism also. She’s 23 years old and is doing pretty good for herself. It’s a long hard road but it will be well worth it.
It really stinks that you have these out of pocket expenses when we pay so much for insurance. It’s so frustrating. I hope he gets the help he needs.
What a grueling process. It sounds like you both handled it with flying colors. And how great that you can now get all the help you need for him. I wish Wyatt nothing but success.
When my son was 18 months old, we began the long road of evaluations, therapies etc for him. After two years, we were told he did not have full blown autism, but was on the spectrum. He is now 14, entering high school in a gifted Science & Math Academy. It is a hard road, but worth it! Always follow your instincts in regards to the therapy/therapists.
The screening process did sound stressful. I’m glad you’ll be able to prepare and plan appropriately now that you have the results.
Sounds like your son has a set of great parents . He’s a lucky boy. He is also super cute. You’re going to have your hands full with him for sure. That smile is going to get a lot of attention.
I dont have any experience with this myself, but I am pretty sure my sisters SO’s son has a form of autism. ATM, he’s not too concerned and wont take him in to get checked out cause as a parent, you don’t really want to acknowledge or admit that there’s something the matter with your child and I can totally understand that.
Thank you for sharing your story. maybe I can share this with my sister in hopes that he’ll get him evaluated so he can start on the right path for help since he also has speech issues.
I kn ow a few kids who has Autism and know how difficult life can be raising a child who has a disability. Your son is lucky to have an amazing mother like yourself.
Yes I do have a connection with this! My four year old daughter is autistic. She goes to a speech preschool and all of that kinda stuff…. It’s still hard for me to talk about, but I’m getting better ๐
Your son looks adorable! I have no previous experience with autistic children or people and I can’t really imagine how I would feel if someday doctors would tell that my child is autistic.
Wow what a long journey to get the diagnosis. We ended up at a psychologists office who analyzed our son there and we got the DX that day. My son is high functioning autism and we were told the regular testing would normally not show his autism because aspergers and high functioning usually pass the autism testing they do. I am here if you want to chat anytime, it’s a totally different way of parenting in my opinion as I Have two who are not on the spectrum then this middle son who is on the spectrum.
I never knew about the process one has to take to be diagnosed, but I have worked with many kids with Autism and they just amaze me. There is nothing wrong with kids who have autism they just process the world differently. I have blessed to witness God’s creation and the beauty of what they become.
Thank you for sharing your story. My oldest was diagnosed when he was in kindergarten. It’s been a long journey (he’s 13 now).
I must say I don’t know much of Autism but I am learning everyday via posts like these, though Wyatt has been diagnosed as having autism, it does not define him. I love how you put …a child who happens to have Autism.
I wonder if this will be us one day. We’ve been in speech therapy. We have the SPD. There are definitely signs. So far, no doctor has been willing to say it’s autism. But that doesn’t been it isn’t.
Mแปน sฦกn turns 21 this week. At an early age, he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, which is grouped into the the Autistic spectrum. One day you will look back at all the parenting, care and love poured out for your child. It was more challenging than raising our daughter, who is 18 and already moved out of the home, married and has a vibrant successful career. So our son will get there, it seems these children and teens are simply just emotionally a day socially a few years behind the typical peer their age. Neither has ever partied , done drugs or alcohol, so both are level headed. Did we baby him because of the disability? No, we pushed him more and gave him more world travel and social experience. So why is he still home with no job and potential soul mate I ask? Answer is he is a few years behind. He graduated from high school at 19, not 18. He got his drivers license at 20 not 16-17. He just got his food handlers card and first aide CPR certification. He is doing job interviews and applications now. So my best advice is stay strong as a parent, be involved with the school and meetings of your child’s growth and development. I even home schooled my son for the 2 most difficult social years, 7th and 8th grade. He completed high school in 5 years possibly because of my poor teaching math etc…, but the social behavior advanced tremendously while I worked and paid so much attention during those 2 years. Repetition, routine and daily goals and plans will help you both. He has a hard time planning for the distant future, but each day is easy to complete whatever tasks are written out. Importantly I think where we made a mistake was to allow him to be baby sat in front of video games during the teen years, to give me and my wife a break. They can become easily addicted to the stimulation and rewards of winning a game, all to allow us some quiet time. Set a limit on this and maybe use for a reward after reaching daily goals. Punish by no games if poor behavior etc… Church is the best way to have weekly social outings and accepting families loving and supporting your family. My son graduated, got his 1st aide CPR and food handlers cardseven his driver’s license. Each took extra effort from him and us. I do one task at a time, he has a harder time multi tasking. Set one goal and he will complete it eventually. See the gifts and unique talents each child has. Teach at their speed. He will marry, hold a job, have a career, be a parent himself one day. I wish soon, but it may take a few years longer than our daughter. So enjoy the gift while you have it. They are gifted, just need coaching to reach goals, and they are worth every goal. Our motto became,”Create an atmosphere for life”. Let him experience all aspects of life. Don’t hold back. Go camping, do Disney, lots of birthday parties and social events and one day it will slow down. It will relax. I feel God only gives these special children to those parents whouse will be able to navigate conflict and stay together when stress or worry sneak into your home. Kick that stress out with a walk. Find a hobby for yourself to take a break, mine was ice hockey and sports. Wife had more girlfriendso and Starbucks. LOL. It was worth it, he is such a happy and pleasant young man. He now says he refuses to accept the diagnosis and we don’t care about labels either. This label of Autism or Aspergers is only for the school, government and parents to help you figure out ways to coach and teach them uniquely. We did the med for a coupleasant years, but WATCH OUT for side effects. His heart raced at high altitudes and we thought the med school were more for us adults to have a mellow zombie we could handle easier. I chose to homeschool and stop the meds. He has never needed them since. He will never need meds! I may, but he surely won’t. You can and will make it. Parenting never ends, but create that atmosphere for life and a life of excitement, thrill and wonder will be at your child’s fingertips. God bless.